Faced with years of a deteriorating relationship at home – it’s often difficult to imagine how things could be different between you and your child.
The drain on your energy because you’ve been living in a constant state of alert, ready to tackle the problems that your child may bring through the door. Or maybe things seem to be ticking along nicely and then – out of the blue - they swing you a curve ball – for no rhyme or reason that you can determine.
The thought of improving your situation may seem futile – the hurdles may seem too high and the mountain, just too rocky a path to climb.
However, I ask you to hold on.
They need you to hold on. They may need you to do something different – but they do need you to hold on.
I am in the fortunate position that I am able to see over the mountain. I can see the joy in the relationship that you can build.
Well, because I’ve stood exactly where you are, many times with so many children and young people.
I’ve been at the bottom of that mountain faced with children who society have all but given up hope on. The children that you wouldn’t want to walk past in their groups on the street. The alcohol, drug and crime wielding children who we would avoid at all costs.
In my work within care homes, secure units and residential schools for children with challenging behaviours, I’ve stood many a time, reading profiles of these children before meeting them. My heart in my mouth - wondered how the *&%$ am I going to manage this one?
And then, on meeting them for the first time, beyond the script that had been written about them - I see the child. I see the vulnerability. I see the hope. I see their spirit. I see the humour and the mischief in their eyes. I see their fear; their mistrust of adults. I see their pain and neglect. I see their frustrations. I see their anger and I see their absolute undeniable beauty.
My goal is for everyone else to be able to see their beauty too.
More importantly, I want them to see the beauty it in themselves and to build the strength of character to show up with that beauty regardless of the pressures and hurdles and unfairness that life has thrown at them.
I’ve worked with ‘the worst’. I’ve had ‘the worst’ actually living with me and it was one of the best experiences in my life.
I often explain to parents that there is so much joy beyond the mountain. If you get the right knowledge, the right tools, the right support you will travel the rocky mountain path with confidence of seeing the most beautiful of views when you reach the top.
If you'd like to learn more about how I work, you are welcome to watch this free parent coaching video.
CLICK HERE to view.