They frighten us with their strength of opposition. they come with.
The uncaring nature. Their indifference towards us and our feelings. How can these children not care?
How can they behave this way when all we show is love?
This is exactly where, as parents, we get stuck.
In this instance, it isn’t about us.
It’s about them and their behaviour – and their thoughts and their feelings.
It’s about how we support them through towards having feelings of joy and gratitude in life, in the family around them, in the opportunities afforded to them. It’s how we respond. It’s how we pre-empt their behaviours. It’s about having the confidence and the sure footedness to continue on our path as they thrash around and push against it.
This is what teenagers and pre-teens do.
And this is what we are here for. To love (of course),understand, connect, guide and protect them. We have a job to do and that job might not be the one they want us to have.
If you sit down and ask a teen, who is pushing against their parents - what they want – they’ll tell you they want more of everything. There are children out there with parents who are giving them more. More freedom. More money. More time with friends. More clothes. More makeup. More going out. More. More. More.
Ask that same child as an adult what they wanted and they’ll tell you they needed parents who were stronger and didn’t allow them to do all the things they did!
You are going to have to trust yourself.
You are going to have to follow your parenting instincts. There is no handbook that will meet the needs of your exact child. Yes there is the guidance. Yes there are methods and tools. But YOU are going to have to apply them. YOU are going to have to face your child and tell them ‘NO’. You’re the best person for the job.
It’s time to let go of fear.
To do that you'll have to face that fear and put measures in place that might tip the apple cart.
And yes – they’re likely to kick back. Why wouldn’t they? Things have been going swimmingly as far as they are concerned, and they want more of things – their way
Prepare for that.
Decide how YOU are going to manage the fall out of putting rules and boundaries in place.
The good thing is – you don’t have to be alone in this. You can get the support to make the changes.
If you’d like to take the first step in improving your relationship so you can start making changes - then you are more than welcome to join my FREE 5-Day Challenge. The challenge is 5 daily tasks and live group coaching – to address anything that you are struggling with right now.
You can click HERE for more information.
It would be my pleasure to support you.